Will you send your parents to an old age home if they are very sick?

Why do you think people send their elders to nursing homes?

2,018 Views Updated: 27 Sep 2016
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This topic is a disputed topic for me. I cannot decide which side to choose. Just like a coin has two sides, Old age homes or the Nursing homes also have two sides! I feel we are nobody to decide the plight of the children who send their parents to the Old age or the Nursing homes. We can never judge them over this issue. We never know if it is really the last thing that they want to do. Children always love their parents, no matter what! You can never think that if somebody has sent their parents to an old age home, then they are cruel or hate taking responsibility of their own parents. Maybe they do not want to take up this responsibility to have a freedom, to live a carefree life without the hassle. Well, anything could be true.

I have both kinds of opinion a negative one and a positive. Why? Because I have seen both kinds of people. Let me share my experiences.

The Negative scenario:

We had a neighbor where I live now in Pune, who had a bad temper. I never understood his mentality and temper. No one could! Not even his father. His father was above 80 years and was in good health with zero ailments. But one day, a neighbor came late from work and the father just asked if he had food and the hell broke loose. The neighbor not only hit his father but also sent him away to some random old age home. It was devastating for the father. But his son, his only son had no shame. He never understood the love of his father for him. I feel that was his bad luck!

The Positive scenario:

My dad was in the Army, so, we have lived in different parts of India. Once, we were living in Amritsar and we had a neighbor. His father was suffering from an ailment known as Dementia. And as we all know its symptoms, memory loss, emotional problems or ability to think rationally. So, his father would often go for a walk and get lost, would not be able to talk properly with anyone, would often urinate while sleeping, very difficult to manage by his daughter-in-law and the son. So, they had to take this difficult step to send him to a sanatorium nearby. It was heart-breaking for them to send him away to an unknown place. But it was a great relief for them to see that the people at sanatorium people took great care of him and they used to go and meet him every weekend. His father was quite happy there, he also made few friends of his age there. The therapy was working great. But his son often felt unhappy with himself to have sent his father there.

Nobody wants their parents to end up somewhere else other than their own home. It is a wrong notion if we feel that those children are cruel who send their parents away to some old age home. But there are those children too who send the parents away in a fit of anger or inconvenience. But we must also understand that it becomes quite difficult to take care of parents as they age, and they reach a point where they need more needs and care that we cannot give. The caregivers are nice people, who take care of the needs of the old people. Of course, you have to pay them as well, but the care that they give is as good as you could have provided. But that definitely doesn’t mean you have to send them away without their consent.

This should be the parent’s decision whether they want to go or not! Of course, there are some rare situations where the parents cannot decide for themselves, in that case, the children should take the decision for them. If they are happy at the old age homes then it’s a heaven but if they not happy, then it would become a hell for them. I feel we are nobody to judge the children of the parents staying at an old age home!