There is a time in every relationship when the couples are ready to transition to a greater commitment, like marriage. Couples normally enter into relationships at different ages and stages in their lives; and therefore prior to getting married it is important that you evaluate how well you know your partner, the certainty of your relationship, what you expect from your marriage, and how do you anticipate the quality of your relationship.
While questions like 'How long should you date before you get married? have never had any fixed answers, it is upon the couple to decide for how long should they date before getting married.
Every couple has their distinctive and individual experiences when it comes to being in love and therefore one cannot define a fixed path for them to walk on. Researchers have suggested that couples who are dating for a while often phase confusions like ‘When should a couple get married’? After two years? Five? What should be the reasons to wait?
But put simply, for how long should you really date before getting married?
#1. Is Marriage Your Relationship Reboot?
Marriages are surely magical, but if you think that getting married will instantly transform your unstable or unhealthy relationship into a happy and stable one, then you need to rethink. One of the biggest reasons for couples to lose interest in their relationship only after a few years of their marriage is because they entered into it thinking that it’ll work as a way to rekindle their otherwise dull relationship. It only leads to disappointments and disillusionment.
“Marry in haste, Repent at leisure” - Anonymous
#2. Do You Know Each Other Well Enough?
Another issue that can detour your marriage is the introduction of any unexpected knowledge about your partner’s behavior or habits. While being with them for a specific period, you might not have been able to encounter every life situation with them and hence aren’t aware of how they would react. So while the number of years that are appropriate to date before getting married cannot be fixed, they should be sufficient enough to let the both of you understand each other.
Read Here: How to Get to Know Someone?
#3. Will You Be Happy, But For How Long?
Relationships are tricky to handle and hence we try to work things out to sustain them. We basically transform the future satisfaction into our current relationship commitment, doing everything necessary to lower the risk of divorces. But till how long will you be able to pull it off? To what extent will you compromise on the personal assessment of your future happiness?
#4. Were They 'Fatal Attractions?'
Most of the times what attracts you to a certain person ultimately becomes that one thing that gets on your nerves too quickly. These are called 'fatal attractions,' rightly named so. They surely do kill you ‘metaphorically.' You see these qualities as ‘highly attractive’ during the beginning of the relationship, but they later become ‘highly disliked ‘ qualities and becomes the reason for your relationship to fall apart. Prior to stepping inside the world of “I am married”, consider the long-term compatibility of you and your partner and make sure that these fatal attractions are not the only connection that keeps you together. If you are worried about how long should you date before you get married, we say you look for the fatal attractions first.
Share your Opinion on: Is It Okay to Get Married Young?
#5. Will Marriage Serve A Different Flavor?
If you get married to your partner that you have dated for a while before taking the plunge, then you better not expect marriage to be a fresh breath of air in your relationship. Before you get married, consider how your relationship usually operates. Are you a romantic or a 'we are friends first' kinda couple? Nurturing the idea that marriage will launch new experiences to your old relationship will only end up in disappointments. Studies show that a couple tends to do the same things that they used to in the early years of their relationship. So, before you plan to marry your partner just be sure that you are ready to have them the way they were because that is how they will be throughout the marriage.
#6. Did You Consider Living-in Together?
Contemporary relationships are all about complications, confusions, expectations, denials and most importantly commitment issues. So how long should you really date before getting married for it to work out? Do we have an answer? Unfortunately, NO. Many couples these days live together to make sure if they can survive living together after marriage. Cohabitation test in a relationship is usually a sign of lack of trust and confidence in your partner and the relationship. Couples who move in together because they want to spend more time together and are greatly committed to each other are in a better position to move towards getting married. (Click here to Read- Which is Better: Live-in or Marriage?)
#7. Are You Both Equally Committed?
Marriage is all about commitment. If you think that you and your partner have been equally committed to your relationship all this while, only then should you move into a marriage. Committing to your relationship demands the both of you to be equally involved in major life decisions like moving to a new city, having babies, leaving or joining a job, or any other such decision that can affect your relationship. It depends on you when do you realize that you both are equally committed and are ready for the bigger call.
#8. Do You Really Love Each Other?
To know how long should you date before marriage; just ask yourself if you really love your partner, for love needs to be genuine and deep-rooted. Your partner has to be the one you see yourself to be with forever. You accept and love each other with all the flaws and shortfalls. Do not fall into temptations. When you date someone, you are attracted to them. Do not confuse your attraction with love. (Click Here to Read: How to Know if it's Love or Lust?)
Just know if you like the lipstick or the lip gloss, because: “Lipsticks last longer, but gloss is more fun” – Gossip Girl
#9. Are You Comfortable With Each Other?
Before marrying your partner, it is important for you to know if you both feel perfectly comfortable around each other. This essentially means that burping at each other is your favorite pass time, your hoodie is her favorite dress, bargaining at the store for her is your favorite sport and talking nuisance is the best part of your relationship. If you just said YES to each of these, then you need not think anymore before marrying your sweetheart. You know that your partner is your best friend and nobody likes to stay away from their best friends?
#10. Trust Me?
If you leave your cell phone on the table and your partner shows no interest to peep into it, just know that he’s the one. Similarly, you too have never felt the need to go through his emails or chats because you both trust each other. You both respect each other’s space and individuality and are so ready to get married.
Every relationship is based on trust and if your relationship has enough of it to survive 'forever,' you better get down on your knees and propose your partner.
You Might Like to Read: How to Build Trust in a Relationship?
If you believe that your relationship has reached a level where it is absolutely fine to say the woes finally, just do it, but if at all you still have your doubts, then do not make the mistake of marrying believing that it’ll help in rekindling your relationship.
Have you ever come across any such situations? How did you deal with it? Please share your thoughts and experiences with us. We look forward to your replies.
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