How to tell if it's Love or Lust?

1,726 Views Updated: 18 May 2018
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How to tell if it's Love or Lust?

Feelings are not bound to happen when we want. They can develop for anyone, anytime. There is a reason why feelings are connected with heart and not the brain. As it is seen that people usually get confused between love and lust. The psychiatrist has suggested that lust is an intense sexual attraction which is often confused with love. When two people lust for each other that is their primal urge to procreate. Studies claim that the brain with the feeling of lust is just like what it is when addicted to drugs. During this stage, you are likely to see the person as perfect when you need them. You usually don't see the flaws. In the phase of lust, you rather see the person in the projection of idealization.  

Love is, on the other hand, is an immensely intense feeling. It is more related to affection and care. It is the profound form of emotion that connects two people in a bond which is based on attachment. A strong desire of someone having by your side is considered as love. Though, the definition of love is different for different people. When we consider lust, it is a flip term altogether. There are times when lust also takes time and transform into love. When two people cross the level of ‘Fantasy’ in a relationship than a couple might gradually fall in love. Let us discuss the two terms in as detailed manner as possible.

Signs Of Lust

#1. The Priority Is Looks And Body

When you lust over someone, the main aspect is that you are totally focused on their body. Be it a man or woman you desire. The physical appearance is always important for you at this case. Looking good is paramount for you. Both the people who are lusting over each other try to look their best, not to impress but to get what they want. You try to be in shape and dress nice.

#2. Everything Revolves Around Intimacy

When a relationship is based on lust, your prior motive is to get intimate. In order to stick to that, you do all the romantic stuff that you feel like doing. You are doing all the things currently which will lead you to the bedroom, not the heart. The conversations are not given time because all the time shifts to getting intimate.

#3. Life Becomes A Fantasy

Being full of lust lessens your capacity of judgment. You tend to think that your partner is flawless as you do not focus on negative qualities. During this phase, you usually do not put all your cards on the table as you want to remain in the materialistic reality which seems flawless. Idealizing yourself and your partner is best when you are just attracted physically.

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#4. You Don’t Know The Person So Well

As we discussed above as well, being in lust constrains your life. You enjoy being sexually satisfied and don’t really bother to invest your time in knowing each other. Since the bulk of your time is spent in bed, the time to bond together is not there. Love can happen only if you spend time in knowing each other rather than just thinking about each other’s body.

#5. Sharing Something Is Very Rare

As far as the stage of lust is concerned, you are very insecure about your problems and secrets in that relationship. You are not comfortable in sharing your deepest secrets as you people haven’t spent time in building trust with each other. There can never be shared without having enough trust in between. In lust, the trust between two people is rather superficial.

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#6. Commitment Is Not There

People in lust are very far from the zone of commitment in their relationship. Lust can fizzle out way too quickly. So it does not give enough time to the two individuals to know each other as they haven’t spent time together to know each other. In the phase of lust, as soon as you find other people more desirable, you move ahead. So there is no point of commitment in the whole scene.

Signs Of True Romantic Love

#1. Possessiveness Is Natural 

You are bound to become possessive when you are in love. When you want to have only that one person and more importantly you have intense romantic feelings for them, You will feel a little possessive. So, if you are possessive about your partner, chill. It is completely natural. Of course, over of everything is bad. But healthy jealousy is good.

#2. Conversations Are Important Than Intimacy

When you are in deep emotional attachment, you tend to enjoy conversations more. Intimacy has its place but knowing each other is more important in love. The quality time you spend with each other is precious.

#3. Time Flies When You Are Together

When you are with someone you love, time flies. You do not even realize you spend so much of time together because you get lost in conversations. People who haven’t been in love often think that how can couples talk for hours without taking a break. Love is the exact reason. You forget about the hours passing.

#4. Sharing Is Caring

Love is all about sharing your deepest secrets and feelings you can never say to anyone else. You honestly want to listen to each other’s most random feelings. Sharing thoughts and ideas make each other happy when you are in love. Metaphorically, you become naked in front of each other as a person.

#5. Commitment Is Always There

Commitment is not a fear once you fall in love. You both get excited to meet each other’s family. There is never the phase of uncertainty. You are always sure that your partner is going to be your side no matter what comes next. When two people are in love, they tend to think about their future together. So commitment is not a surprise in a relationship filled with love.

#6. You Become A Better Person

When you find the right one and shares the equal amount of romantic feelings for each other, you are likely to learn a lot from each other. Love is a barter system of feelings. You give and take feelings and habits. It makes you a better person as you take up good from each other and end up becoming a better soul.

#7. You Can’t Stop Thinking About Each Other

Once a person becomes your priority, you are likely to think about them more often. Love is all about being in each other’s thoughts. A person need not be physically together to experience the feeling of love. Even when you are not around each other, you are thinking about each other most of the time.

Sometimes lust can be the first stage of falling in love. Also, lust can make you get bored of that person and you never fall in love with that person. But the phase of ‘lovestruck’ is beyond comparison. When you spend hours thinking about your lover and lose your appetite and sleep, that is when you start falling in love. These things like daydreaming and losing sleep seem to like movies and novels but this actually happens. The infatuation can take place anytime and with anyone. It is just the matter of finding a person you automatically connect with, even if you don’t want to. Everyone can love you for your strengths but if someone has the courage to love you for your weaknesses then it can never fade away. If you are also confusing your lust to be love or unable to identify whether you are in love, this is going to help you tremendously. Share your interesting experience also with us in the comments section below.

(Image Courtesy: 1. The Youth Express, 2. Flawless Photography, 3. Salon, 4. Sample Messages, 5. Eskipaper, 6. Chobirdokan; Family Share (Featured Image Courtesy)

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