Spying on your Spouse: Should you or Shouldn't You?

1,587 Views Updated: 25 Nov 2017
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Spying on your Spouse: Should you or Shouldn't You?

Have you ever thought of spying on your spouse? Are you aware of the best ways to spy on your spouse? Or are you keen to know how to spy on your partner?

Well, we are not very sure if spying on your spouse is a good idea because privacy in marriage is a right given to both the partners by law. In spite of the importance of privacy in sustaining a marriage, many people spy on their partners. Despite the presence of federal statutes that outlaw the interception of electronic communications and violation of privacy rights, people end up doubting their partners once in a while.

Is it ethical to spy on your partner?


Every human being has a right to privacy. It is fundamental to your well-being and security. There are a few places in the world where it is illegal to spy on another person unless you have a legal warrant. Spying can become a habit. And if it gets out of hand, it can even become an obsession. You’ll be glued to your phone to watch their every move. Or maybe you’re getting a thrill from your snooping. Instead of being reassured, you just want to feel vindicated. Be it anything; nothing can justify your behavior.

Before you get into spying on your spouse, ask yourself some questions; would you be fine if he or she were spying on you? Are you ready to give up your relationship when she or he finds out about you spying on them? Can you be misreading the situation? Do you have any reasons for this lack of trust? Think about how it would make you feel if your partner were spying on you. Just realize how violated and hurt you’d be if your partner were spying on you. Would you be happy about it?

Spying on your partner is a clear indication of lack of trust. Before you actually get into learning some tricks to spy on your spouse, just be sure that you are not overreacting. If you are sure that your partner is possibly going wrong, then you can surely consider spying on them. 

When Should You Spy On Your Partner?


If you've reached a point where you feel an obvious need to spy on your spouse, do you think that there are any love and respect left in your marriage to keep spying? As per the relationship experts, there are primarily four reasons why people spy on their mates and they are suspicions of infidelity, curiosity about why your spouse is spending so much time on their computers or laptops, a sense of entitlement to know what your spouse is doing, viewing, hiding, or writing, unnecessary jealousy etc. Some other situations when spying is justified are:

#1. The Need Of Knowing About Their Whereabouts

A healthy marriage is all about staying open and discussing where your partner is. If your partner is lying to you about their whereabouts, then it is the time that you address the issues and if that needs you to spy on your mate, then be it. Keeping a track on your partner’s movements can give you a lot of information about what they are up to. Should you feel the need to track your partner’s phone and monitor their location without them being aware, then just know that you are invading their privacy and you’ll have to deal with the guilt forever.

#2. Spying On Them Because You Care?

There could be times when a partner spies on their other half because they care for their wellbeing. We all know that the outside world is incredibly dangerous and the safety of your family should be your priority. If you are justifying your spying in this way, then you should speak about it with y our partner. Or better yet, just ask them first.


#3. Trying To Rebuild Trust?

In some cases, spying is fine because the other partner has permitted it. If a couple is trying to rebuild trust in their relationship, then the ‘guilty’ partner can offer his/her account passwords to put their spouse’s mind to rest. It’s important to keep in mind that all of the techniques mentioned above should be used as a last resort. Many people find themselves in difficult situations and fail to reach the truth even after trying very hard. Technology can offer answers to a lot of questions that your lying spouse refuses to provide.

(Also Read: How To Build Trust In A Relationship?)

How To Spy On Your Partner?


This may sound weird at first because we are sharing some tricks to spy on your partner, but spying is not the best way to solve a problem in your relationship. You can always talk and figure out the solutions. But just in case communication is not your forte, and you’d like to go deeper into the problem, you can always consider the tips mentioned below:

#1. Electronic Eavesdropping

Electronic eavesdropping can be accomplished with ease by checking the history (CTRL + H) of your partner’s computer. Someone who wants to cover their tracks and history will clear their history and the cookie files.


#2. Use VNC to Monitor PC Use

VNC is a popular and free remote computing application. It’s an excellent way to control your partner's computer remotely. This approach requires a unique configuration. Install it in “service mode,” which will automatically launch the application every time the computer starts up. Enable password protection and click on the “Authentication” tab. Next to “VNC Password Authentication,” click the configure button and create a secret password.

#3. Accessing Cell Phones

One of the most common methods that cheaters use to communicate with their lovers outside the marriage secretly is through the cell phones. Many people feel that since their cell phone is easy to use irrespective of the locations it is a safe way to facilitate an affair. Unfortunately for cheaters, the cell phone is the worst device for making private conversations.

Most of the detective companies are diligent at maintaining detailed records of the cell phone companies. Not only can they view the date and time that certain numbers were called on, but they can also view the duration of the phone call.

It is even better if your spouse hasn’t set up an online account. All you have to do is configure the account for online billing using your email address. However, if your spouse already has an account the accessibility will become simpler.

#4. Hire Detective Services

If you plan to hire a private investigator, make sure you find a legitimate detective firm. Look into the investigator's license.

Ask for a written contract that includes compensation rates, and an explanation of how the expenses are distributed. Before you hire an agency to spy on your spouse, just ask yourself if you have tried using alternatives to spying first? Or are you aware of your spouse's right to privacy? What exactly are you trying to achieve by spying on your spouse? Love cannot exist if you are feeling negative about it. Love and fear cannot exist side-by-side.




Do you think that it is ethical to use technology to spy on your spouse? Is it fair or is it an invasion of privacy? Please share your thoughts and opinions with us in the comment box below. We look forward to your replies.

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