If you have a teenager at home then you know they are no piece of cake. Between their irritability, confusion, indifference, and tantrums, they can become pretty tough to handle human beings. Teenage is infamous for making naive children turn into monsters who hate everything from school to their parents. It takes a lot of patience and courage to deal with the temperament of a teenager.
The main culprit that contributes to the moodiness of teenagers is their endocrine system which has just begun making bucketloads of hormones that the body was previously unaware of. These hormones are responsible for the unfounded anger, the baseless bickering and also, all those zits. Now, if you have a teenager or a child who is going to enter his teenage, you must prepare for the worst. Your perfect baby who never even raised his voice will start screaming and shouting at you. Of course, there will be good times too, but the bad moods will take precedence. If you are all set to tackle a moody teen, you need to keep certain things in mind.
How To Cope With The Mood Swings Of A Teenager?
#1. Don’t Misjudge
Your teen is probably not the best person in the world right now. He or she is probably fighting for space, freedom, food, facilities and more. In this case, it is very easy to see them as self-centered people who do not care about their parents let alone anyone else. You might start thinking that they are becoming bad, reckless and selfish human beings. This would be a gross misjudgment on your part. Your teen is going through changes that he or she is not even aware of. They cannot control their behavior even if they know it is outrageous. Peer pressure, academic pressure and so many other problems that come with teenage bog your child’s brain down and make him or her say things that he or she otherwise would never say. So, you should not judge your child at this stage. Instead, look for times when he or she is in a good mood and then gauge the kind of person he or she is. He or she might be the friendliest, kindest child on the planet with teenage issues blocking his or her true personality. The best decision is to wait it out without judging or fighting with them. Their frequent mood swings are because of the hormonal changes and pressures that teenage brings along. Teenage blues will pass and they will be back to their fun, non-moody self within no time.
#2. Don’t Take It Personally
It’s neither yours nor their fault that they’re moody and not on their best behavior with you. When teenagers talk back or say mean things to you, it should be clear that they are simply going through a phase and don’t actually mean it when they say things like ‘I hate you’ or ‘I wish I were never born.' They are your children and teenage angst cannot take away the love that they have for you. If you start taking every comment personally, very soon you will start harboring bitterness towards your offspring and that’s just not done. For a loving family and collective harmony, you need to know that words cannot hurt you. Especially the words that come out of a confused teenager’s mouth. Honestly, most of the time they don’t even know what they’re saying. Understand the meaning of what they say is a far cry. So, if hurtful words are hurled at you, take them with a grain of salt and don’t let them get to you. If something is really hurtful and unacceptable to your family, it is best to make them sit down patiently and tell them that they have crossed a line. But most of the times, It will be their hormones and naiveté talking. All you need to do in this case is ignore what they’re saying and move on without feeling hurt or insulted.
#3. Give Them Their Space
The first thing your teenager will probably say before lashing out is that you don't give them enough space. Things like why don't you wake up earlier, why don't you get your hair cut, why don't you clean your room can all seem intrusive and make your child feel like you are encroaching upon their personal space. Now, it may seem weird that the child you brought into this world wants space from you. They want to be secluded in their own room for hours, only coming out when they need to be fed. They may also require you to knock before you enter their room which is the last thing you expected from your beloved baby. But remember, this is a child who is growing and requires his or her own space to become an independent adult. If you hover, you may hinder their growth and make them too angry to handle. That just makes for a bad environment at home. So what you need to do is simply give the child his or her space.
#4. Cherish The Good Times
It's not that your teenager will always be in a bad mood. There will definitely be good times as well. If you give them enough time to be on their own, they will come to you in their best mood. It may be because they're hungry or want to ask you for something, but don't let ulterior motives distract you from the fact that your child still needs you. All you need to do to reinforce your bond with your anxious teen and handle the mood swings is make the most of these happy times. Talk about their day, how school is going, how their friends are doing and everything you have been wondering about your child. Chances are you'll get all the answers plus a few good laughs with your child that'll remind you of all the great moments you've shared. Cherish all the happy times you get with your child and do not feel bad if that doesn't happen often. Don't forget, these moments are rare now but once the phase passes they'll increase in frequency. But just for now, let them be until they want to be left alone.
#5. Try Talking To Them
Sometimes, teenagers simply need some advice and cannot get themselves to speak up. This may be because they feel that parents won’t understand their issues or will reprimand them for mistakes that they’ve made. When emotions stay bottled up, teenagers turn into bad, attention seeking children. If you feel like your child wants to have a conversation, you should be the one who initiates it. Find a time that suits both of you and ask them what’s going on in their life and if there is anything that they would like to talk to you about. If you still feel that they are having trouble opening up to you, you can go ahead and ask a cousin or aunt that you trust to speak to them. They might open up to the relative who is not their parent. Whether or not you wish to know your child’s secrets through the trusted relative is upon you, but at least you will have the peace of mind that comes from knowing that someone in the family has got your child’s back.
#6. Seek Professional Help
If you cannot reach out to your teenager and he or she seems like very troubled and depressed, you can turn to professional help. A therapist who specializes in handling moody teens can tell you if your child is dealing with teenage hormonal issues or something deeper than that. Academic stress, friendships, relationships and other problems might be causing your child to feel depressed. Your child might be dealing with depression, anxiety or other mental disorders that only a mental health professional will be able to identify and fix. Once these issues are identified, it can be very easy to tackle and cure them. Through continuous therapy and a happy environment at home, children can come out of anxiety and depression in a matter of weeks. Do not worry too much and do what feels right for your child and your family. Your therapist might also suggest medications if there is a deep underlying condition but it is rarely the case. Most probably, your therapist will tell you that what you have is a problem child who needs communication with an adult.
Your child needs constant support from his or her parents whether it be spoken or unspoken. Always be on the lookout for alarming signals like suicide attempts and inconsolable, inexplicable tantrums. As a parent, it is your job to be alert and look out for behavior which is out of the ordinary and might need professional attention.
How did you cope with the mood swings of your teenager? Do you feel this article can help you to cope with the mood swings of a teenager? We would love to know your thoughts and opinions, so please share them with us in the comment box below.