It is very easy to overreact as a parent as a child can do a lot of things which can make you angry. It is difficult for parents to monitor children regularly. Parents often feel like their duties never end as they have to work continuously to fulfill their duties as a parent and also towards maintaining a balance between professional and personal life.
All parents want to be sensitive to the needs of their children and want to give them their best. However, it is easier said than done as sometimes they have their own emotional baggage and the situation becomes worse when simultaneously they also perform the duties of a parent. In such situations, they fail to help their children emotionally. Instead of calmly handling the problem, they lash out at the children and overreact. This is mainly because they feel overwhelmed by the continuous pressure.
#1. Understand Your Emotions and Theirs
Overreaction refers to a more emotional or forcible response than what is justified. Basically, there are two kinds of overreactions: internal and external. Internal overreactions are the ones that other people cannot see. For example, a person dropped the pursuit of a cricket career just because he or she lost a match. External overreaction would be you shouting at someone because your clothes are not fitting in the cupboard. In both the cases, your reaction is not proportionate to the problem and it damages your relationships and self-esteem. You need to take a deep breath and ask yourself is there any underlying agony that is troubling you? It could be that you are not okay with something that happened and are constantly beating yourself about it. You need to be wise and see that thinking about it is only messing up your present. So, you need to either draw out positives from that situation or let it go completely so that your present remains unaffected by it and you are focused only on things which affect you right now. When you work towards this understanding and live by it, you will talk to others politely and will not always be in a state where you are constantly attacking yourself or others. As a parent, it is very important that you practice this attitude so that whenever your child needs help, you are available and one way to ensure that you are always available is to be content in your life. A parent never loses the love he or she has for the child so whenever you feel the impulse to lash out at them or hit them, pause and control yourself because your anger is misdirected towards your child and there could be something else which is bugging you.
At the same time, you must also realize that your children are just like you and they too will overreact at times. Whenever you are confused about your kid’s behavior, it is important that you try to recall the moment which preceded it. When you reflect on what all your kid has done during the day, you will get your answers. Later on, you can address the issue with your child patiently.
#2. Document Your Breaking Points
Your child is a lot more mischievous than he or she should be for their age. You need to be honest with yourself, admit your past overreactions and then slowly trace your mind to the cause of your overreaction. This will help you to tackle the situation in a better way. You can invest your time in planning to control your overreaction the next time, learn from your mistake and behave in a better way. You need to understand the fact that children are very fragile, if you keep on overreacting and scolding them then it can have a very bad impact on them. Your children ate dirt, you care about their health, so you thought that grabbing them tightly and scolding them harshly will stop them from doing that. But it proved to be ineffective and next time you hit your children to teach them a lesson. Is hitting or shouting at them really the solution to the problem? No it is not. You have to be smart and accept that you need to mend your ways and handle your children patiently. When you hit your child it may stop them from doing that particular thing for the moment but can harm the relationship in the long run. Clearly, you need to do more and raise your level of tolerance for your child’s antics instead of overreacting.
#3. Change Your Perspective
It is important that you try to see the situation from a different perspective. The stern state of mind has to make way for the one which sees things as less offensive and portray events in a light-hearted way. Initially, you got angry when your child painted on the wall and reprimanded him or her for doing so. This is not the right approach. You have surely overreacted. Afterall, he or she is a kid and you need to understand this. Try to see things in a different light and then you will be able to find out in which situations you overreacted and where you need to mend your ways.
#4. Hand Over Responsibilities
The first law of good parenting and stop overreacting is never to stop doing everything yourself and share responsibilities of your kids with your parents or your spouse especially when you know that you already have a lot of responsibilities otherwise and will mess up something or the other if you try to do everything yourself. You too need a break because if you don’t take a break, then you will not be able to break free from the pattern of overreacting.
Also, Read: How To Be A Good Parent?
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