How to Deal with Separation Anxiety when your Child goes to College?

1,057 Views Updated: 27 Aug 2018
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How to Deal with Separation Anxiety when your Child goes to College?

Dealing with the change of your children leaving home and shifting to another city to complete their education can be really challenging for all the parents, especially because it increases the concern of parents for their children. The lack of the presence of the children at home also disturbs the parents. Dealing with the separation anxiety that is caused by this situation can be the most difficult thing for most parents.

Separation anxiety is caused because of the fear that is the result of being separated from your loved ones. This is the result of the inability to be with or to have the constant company or attention of those people who are of most importance to you. The main cause is the fear that is generated because of the feeling of being away from your loved ones. This kind of anxiety in adults is caused because of the lack of the presence of those people who are of extreme importance to them; it may be parents in case of young adults and may be children in case of parents. The reasons parents fear are many and there really is no one who can replace the presence of your own children.

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What is important to understand is the fact that for the first time you are away from that child you have devoted more than half of your life to and has been the center of your world. This makes it impossible for parents to easily accept the lack of the presence of the children. Then there are added concerns in this case that may fuel the anxiety and fear. The fact that the child is going to be all alone and the parents will not be present to protect them whenever required and that they won't have any idea about what really the child is going to go through, can cause a lot of added emotional stress for the parents.

Irrespective of how bad you feel or how hard it is for you, deep down you know the fact that this is the correct thing to do and is to the best of your child’s future. That is why it becomes so essential to making sure that you deal with this situation more effectively rather than making it hard for your child to proceed to this new chapter of their life. Keeping your emotions balanced and doing all that you can to make sure that you can be at your emotionally controlled best, is something you will have to be able to do.

How To Deal With Separation Anxiety When Your Child Goes To College? 

#1. Know That It Is For Their Best

As a parent, you know what is the best for your child, and perhaps there is no one else who will know the fact that how essential it is for your child to go to the college that is best for them and that is of their choice. A good college and education will determine the course of the rest of the life of the child. What you need to remind yourself is the fact that they will be disappointed and unhappy if you do not allow them to go to the college of their choice because you are not capable of trusting them and leaving them all on their own. You surely want the best for the child and will not ruin their future because of the insecurities and fears you have. Deep down you know that this is in their best interest. 

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#2. Trust Your Child

Although the anxiety is caused because of the separation from someone you really love, the fear and the negative emotions are reinforced because of the various assumptions that you may be cooking up in your mind. The moment you begin to go down the negative thoughts, you add more fuel to the fire that is already causing distress. You really need to stop questioning your child and in turn your own upbringing and the values that you have taught your child. Please make it a point to trust your child and make sure that you know that you have done all that you can to ensure that your child is going to take the right set of decisions when it comes to independently taking charge of their life.

#3. Let Go Of The Need To Control Your Children

You really need to make sure that you are now aware of the fact that your child has grown up and is capable of making the best decisions possible. You are not entirely in charge of their life decisions anymore, you will need to be able to make peace with the fact that you do not need to control the children the way you did when they were kids. This realization can prove to be really helpful in soothing your anxiety. You will see that when you just let them do their thing and make sure that you are not trying to control them you will definitely be able to make peace with the situation and just let it go.

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#4. Occupy Yourself

This one is essential for all those parents who had made their child the center of their world and now are left all alone to themselves as they no longer have the child to attend to. You really need to make sure that you get something for yourself to engage in. You can make it a point to take up a new activity or even get back to the old ones that you had left in order to take care of your family. Now that you have all the time to yourself, you can make the most of it by engaging in something productive rather than sitting and worrying about your child. This will keep your mind occupied and make it possible for you to soothe your anxiety.

#5. Keep In Touch With Your Child On A Daily Basis

If you are able to maintain a healthy relationship with your child, you will not feel the anxiety and stress at all. You keep in touch with your child and make it a point to engage with them in a friendly manner. he or she should not feel that you are interfering in their lives.  You feel happy when you know what your child is doing is for their greater benefit.

Do you think this article can help you to deal with separation anxiety when your child goes to college? We would love to know your thoughts and experiences, so please share them with us in the comment box below.
(Image Courtesy: 1. Totally Unique, 2. Huffington Post, 3. Scary Mommy, 4. 411 For Moms: Psych Central Blog(Featured Image Courtesy)
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