Getting adopted at times is a blessing for children.
The unprivileged child who goes through a lot in his/her life gets to see a new hope when he/she gets adopted. Adoption is rare, although It has increasingly being preferred these days. Most parents prefer their own blood rather than caring for an outsider. But some noble souls take the extraordinary step of giving support to children who have lost everything.
I have a deep regard for this kind of people who go through several difficult process and financial hurdles just to adore and support a new soul. A big applaud to them and salute to their noble thoughts. No doubt, being adopted and get to know about it at a later stage may affect the child deeply. But considering the possibilities which he/she might have faced if left out in an orphanage might actually help the child overcome the emotional stress after knowing that they are adopted. Therefore counseling at an early stage of adolescence is helpful.
If I were adopted by a couple during my childhood, the reactions of knowing about it would have been much similar to depression and anxiety like many others. Although at a later stage it is acceptable, the initial stages of knowing that you are adopted hurt a lot. Spending so much time with people whom you thought to be your own parents, and then suddenly waking up to the nightmare and realizing everything was false, will hurt real deep. It is difficult to think how the children who go through this phase early in their life must be feeling. I have seen people who unexpectedly and unknowingly spill the truth in front of the children out of anger or anxiety and the children face a lot of emotional stress.
Same would have occurred to me as I can't imagine how difficult it would have been to know that your parents are not your own. Although the cause is noble but it cannot be accepted too early. And at times children even can't accept the fact of getting adopted whole of their life. Maybe I would get used to the fact and the noble cause behind it at a stage. But that even requires the right upbringing by the parents. If the upbringing is not up to the expectations, no doubt even own children face the blunt of getting stranded all their life. Therefore even if adoption is done, and is revealed at a later stage, proper upbringing and counseling is the key to suppressing the emotional stress that the family undergoes.
With the course of time as an individual, I would have realized the cause behind the decision taken by my foster parents. The cause would have been noble for sure, but to understand the process at a tender age is not possible. That is why I would have fetched some time to realize the hardships my parents might have gone through to give me a better life from the rest. It is a matter of fact that people who are dumped or left to live in an orphanage bear several problems that come face to face every day. At least I would have been grateful that I was chosen by my parents and rescued from a place which had no real parents to look after me. At times after knowing the truth, there would be mixed feelings of anger and be privileged at the same time. Some children also develop a strong desire to know more about the background of their foster parents.
Are they in the safe hands?
Is their future is in jeopardy?
These questions do come after knowing the truth about adoption. Similar thoughts would have also come to my mind, and I would have also made some advances to know the background of my foster parents. This would have taken some time, but gradually by observing them and the people, they meet I would have got a clear idea of their behavior and background. No doubts people who have taken the noble step of adoption can never portray a devilish character. But still, there are cases where people just to overcome the thought of infertility, rely upon and choose adoption and repent about the same at a later stage. If adoption is done because of social or personal stress, it is mandatory for the child to find out whether he/she will be leading a secured future with the respective individuals or not. Therefore although checking out background is not always preferable, at times it helps in knowing about the future possibilities.
If at all adoption is revealed at an early stage, where the child is not matured enough, then there are possibilities that there would be misunderstandings between parents and children. Several questions would be made as for "why they didn’t disclose the matter earlier?" Or as to "why are they saying this now?" which can affect greatly to the parents. Their sanity would be questioned by their own child whom they have nurtured for years. Therefore the fact about adoption should be revealed at a stage where the child is matured enough to get the facts about his/her foster parents and accept them as true guardians of his/her life.
Being adopted is not an easy path to follow. I can hardly imagine the problems that several children face mentally after they are disclosed about their adoption. I feel privileged that I belong to a family which consists of noble thoughts and prefer the process of adoption to the core. Therefore I request every individual who is adopting, not to spill the beans at an early stage, rather disclose it when the child is matured enough to take the hardships. As adoption is a gift given to the child, one day he/she will definitely realize the value of the gift.