It is said that children are an incarnation of God and they truly are. Kids bring joy in our life, but it is equally true that after a couple has kids, the social life gets affected.
Below we list some of the probable effects that kids bring to our social life.
#1. Tending To The Needs
As a couple decides to have kids, some detrimental effect on their social life is evident. You cannot go to any social gatherings as freely as you could have gone when you did not have a child. Since children have their imminent needs which have to be met, you cannot leave them unattended. The first few years after having a child are the hardest on parents as their baby has to be monitored 24x7. Feeding, bathing, and bedding take up the entire day and leaves no time for self after investing a long day with kids. It sounds a lot harsh but for the people who have kids will relate to this and know what we are talking about.
#2. No Time For Each Other
It is not only your friends that you skip going out with, it is your partner who will miss the quality time spent with you. Parents become really occupied in taking care of their child and often giving up to go on dates like they used to before the baby came. Going to fancy restaurants and those romantic movies are only a dream now. Your personal time with each other is now clubbed with one extra member of your family; your child. But you cannot blame anyone for that too whether planned or unplanned, as it was your decision to have kids after all.
#3. Partying Is No Good Either
If you are someone who used to be the party animal once-upon-a-time, then you will be trying all the possible measures to get to that big party that your best friend is organizing at their house. The solution that you come up with is taking the kids along and enjoy with your friends too along with that. You will regret that decision sooner than you think. There is no way that you are carefree in that party and maybe have a drink or two. Since feeding kids is a private affair and require sole attention, it would be highly awkward to feed your kids in the middle of the party. So, partying will become quite a weird scenario.
#4. Problems Of Babysitting
When a couple has kids, they do face a few challenges, and one of them is leaving the child alone at home while you go out. To continue your social life and meet people, you have to go through the trouble of finding a decent babysitter to care for your little baby. Once you do it, you will know that it is not that easy to get one, especially on a Saturday evening. Not only will you have to splurge on the heavy expenses borne at the party but you will also have to pay the babysitter. A little heavy on the wallet right! However, you will still be worried about getting back home early, or if not, you will still be calling the babysitter and making sure if everything back there is going well. You cannot just control it being a parent now. It is part and parcel of your life.
#5. The Judgment
When you are parenting your first child that is when you get all the life advices from people. After a while, it starts seeming like no matter what you do is somehow wrong. You realize this when you try to maintain your social life as you could either take your child along or leave them with a babysitter. Your friends will end up telling you that you should not leave your kid alone at home without you. But when you do bring the kid along to the party, the glances are enough to let you know that people are mocking you for bringing a child to the club. There will even be few you ask "oh, you bought a kid to the bar!” The judgment never stops. You can never be an enough caring parent for the world.
#6. The Change In Friendship Circle
Becoming a parent will teach you that it is almost impossible to be friends with people who are still single or who do not have kids. Even if you manage to remain, friends, because you have good bonding, you will still feel the need to know more people who are going through the same stuff as you, who have kids same as your kid's age. That is very natural because it will be much easier to go out with them and have dinner dates. You will not feel left out as they are just in the same position as you. You can easily talk and share the everyday life and maybe share some advice with each other. You will naturally feel more connected to them as compared to your friends who do not have kids and still enjoy late night parties.
#7. You Play Host
This is the one solution that will come to your mind when you sit back and decide to not let the parenting affect you. You will ask your friends to come over to your place and party once your child is asleep. You cannot go out, and therefore can only invite friends over. You will have to go through all the hassle of cooking and serving to your guests after going through the same with your kid before the guests came. It becomes kind of tiresome to host the party as well do all the parenting on the same day. You only host few times in a month not always. That is why you start to mostly ignore the invitations to have a get-together with your friends as you know you have your baby keeping you occupied now.
#8. Kids-Friendly Places
Before the kids came along, you were a real movie junky and loved to catch them every weekend with your husband. And the dining out was so romantic too. Now you know your movies and romantic dinner have become Disneyland and pizza place. With the kids, you have to give their choices more preferences, and you have to go out to all these childish places like all the other parents letting go of your movie that you wanted to watch so much. You cannot feel the freedom of having weekend trips now and even if you do you have to make sure it is someplace where kids enjoy too, or you will be the one to blame. It is difficult to manage your outing and children's fun together at times.
Parenting is never easy, it never was! It surely takes a toll on your personal life, how you used to spend it earlier and how you spend it after kids have a huge difference. You can try to not have that change in your life just because you are a parent now but you can only control it to a certain extent. Besides you gradually become habituated to molding your lifestyle according to kids. And it is not so bad too if you accept your responsibilities and the fact that this was inevitable. Kids will your best decision once you learn to roll with it.
Let us know if you have any other changes that you personally have in your social life after having kids that we missed out in the article. If you like the article, do mention it in the comments, we would love to hear what has for us!