How can I fix my life?

349 Views Updated: 16 May 2018
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When I was a kid, I fell in love with a girl that was in my school. We both were smart, loved art and culture in general and she was really cute. We both lived in Madrid, the capital of Spain, but her father was the Spanish CEO of a really important corporation (like, a really important one, I’m sure all of you will know it by its name), so she lived in an enormous house in a nice neighborhood, while I lived in a modest one with my abusive father and my mother. 

We used to be really good friends, and I told her that my dream was to study at a really important cinema university in Barcelona. I also taught her everything I knew about cinema. I told her I was in love with her, and she said she was too but that we couldn’t be together cause I was moving to another city the next year.

Due to my father continuous abuse towards my mother and I, and what I saw as her rejection, I tried to commit suicide (I was just 13), and I was interned in a hospital for near a month.

When I came back to school, I found not only that she had told EVERYBODY what I tried to do, but also very explicit details about what my father used to do to me. 

The school contacted the government and my father was forbidden to speak to me or my mother again in 10 years, but she had also told my classmates very intimate details and I felt so betrayed, so I just stopped going to school until I moved to another city.

We did not talk again, and I hated myself for being still in love with her. It took me almost 4 years to forgot her and to make myself a new life, but recently I found a new hobbie and given that studying my true vocation was so expensive, I felt happy for finding another thing that I loved to do.

But today that really expensive university has made public his list of new students for the following year. And guess who’s on that list.

I have been all the afternoon crying and thinking really crazy and bad stuff, but I just can’t forget that her, after being a miserable person and not knowing half of the things I do about cinema, has stolen my dream just because she is the daughter of a really rich person, even when I have worked my ass off just to get a proper basic education. And that just ends me.

I don’t know what to do anymore with my life. My friends have told me to just move on, but I know that I don’t truly like my new “job” even half what I love cinema. Also, my mother recently developed a depression and she has been treating me like shit and threatening me with leaving me homeless (I’m just 19)

What should I do? Why is life so unfair? How can I move on?


When I was a kid, I fell in love with a girl that was in my school. 

We used to be really good friends, and I told her that my dream was to study at a really important cinema university in Barcelona. I also taught her everything I knew about cinema. I told her I was in love with her, and she said she was too but that we couldn’t be together cause I was moving to another city the next year.

Due to my father continuous abuse towards my mother and I, I tried to commit suicide (I was just 13), and I was interned in a hospital for near a month.

When I came back to school, I found not only that she had told EVERYBODY what I tried to do, but also very explicit details about what my father used to do to me. 

We did not talk again, but recently I found a new hobbie and I felt happy for finding another not as expensive thing that I love to do.

But today that really expensive university has made public his list of new students for the following year. And guess who’s on that list.

I have been all the afternoon crying but I just can’t forget that her, after being a miserable person and not knowing half of the things I do about cinema, has stolen my dream just because she is the daughter of a really rich person, even when I have worked my ass off just to get a proper basic education. My friends have told me to just move on, but I know that I don’t truly like my new “job” even half what I love cinema. 

What should I do? Why is life so unfair? How can I move on?

also, excuse my shitty English

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Posted by: julieterie Posts: (1) Opinions: (0) Points: 20 Rank: 1,549
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Answer

Hello julieterie,, this is swati  I have read about your problem I don't know when have you written about it and my reply will solve your problem or not,but believe me talking is the way we can sort many problms and specially when we share things with unknown person because there will be no fear that they will judge is anyways dear talking about your love ,love knows no boundaries you can love anyone,but yes the other person should also be deserving and she broke your trust so she was not the one for you, secondly about your career, people sometimes don't get opportunities but that doesn't mean they are useless, being rich can't give you talents and knowledge so don't be envious of rich people ,and about father it's sad to know about the treatment he does with you or did in past but life teaches us though tuff experience ,i have also lost my father when I was 2 soI know what u miss but we can't alter are situation, easy way is to adapt ourselves and lastly your job ,,do it fr some time, and apply for loan and then go fr your cinema school .. I hope u will feel better now, if not do share your stuffs .

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