Should Couples Live Together Before Marriage?

1,053 Views Updated: 22 Nov 2017
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Should Couples Live Together Before Marriage?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and recently, he expressed his wish to live in with me. Should I avail the opportunity and share a room with him? Is it okay to do so? or should I wait for marriage? How long should I wait before I  live in with him? Can somebody help me with this?

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Answers (3)

Hello Reader,

Thank you for posting your query on our website. Living together in a sexual relationship with your partner prior to marriage is quite common, especially in the US, where most couples prefer to live together before getting married. A survey found that while the number of couples living together in 1995 was about 34%, by 2010, the percentage had hiked to a staggering 48%.

But why exactly do couples choose to live together before getting married? Unmarried couples usually have varied motivations for living together. For many couples, the reason for staying together is mostly to spend more time with their partners while for the rest few cohabitation makes financial sense and because they want to test out the relationship, or they don’t support the institute of marriage.

Cohabitating out of convenience i.e. in a financial sense or just to test a relationship can lead to problems down the road. In the former case, women tend to perceive the relationship which lacks confidence and dedication.


When a couple lives in together to test the waters, they usually end up having negative interactions, psychological aggression and lack of confidence in each other. Such evidence suggests that cohabitation before marriage may not always be a great idea. It can have negative impacts on the relationship as well.

Your concerns regarding pre-marital cohabitation may be legit because substantial evidence associates cohabitation with negative relationship outcomes. Pre-marital cohabitation is viewed as a risk factor for divorce as it predicts later marital instability, poorer marriage quality, and less relationship satisfaction. Compared to married couples, cohabiting couples argue more, have more conflicts, are more insecure about their partners’ feelings, and have more problems related to their future goals. These findings are concerning for couples considering pre-marital cohabitation, but a closer look shows a much more complicated picture.

Cohabitation is said to be a strong predictor of marriage, in part because of the inertia. Once a couple starts to live together, a motion towards marriage begins and it’s more difficult to break up because of the greater investment. The inertia effect is problematic especially when it pushes a couple that would otherwise not have married, to become a married couple. Maybe this is the reason why married men who cohabited before marriage are less dedicated to their wives than married men who did not move in with their wives before marriage.


The inertia effect is only relevant to cohabiters who are not already engaged prior to moving in together. Compared to those who are engaged before living under the same roof, those who aren’t are less satisfied with the relationships and their relationship lacks confidence as well. Interestingly, both engaged and non-engaged cohabiting couples tend to report less relationship dedication, less relationship confidence, and more negative communication compared to those who live together only after marriage.

Living together before marriage may not always be a great option, especially if you are moving in to test the relationship. It will only make things difficult and chances are that you might lose out on your relationship.

We hope that you found the answer that you were looking for. We also look forward to more such interesting questions from you.

Thank you,

Team AskOpinion

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People live the way they want to and when it comes to living with the partner before marriage couples the term live-in relationship comes to my mind. A lot of couples all over the world have been living together before marriage because they feel that they do not need to get married to live together. Cohabitation is an arrangement where two people live together to maintain a long term relationship without getting married. The two people living together play the roles and responsibilities that in a marriage but without legally getting married. It has been debated and argued topic since the term was used because people were not open to the idea as the social views related to marriage, gender roles and religion were rigid.
Religiously, people believed in marriage as a holy matrimony that bounds two people in a relationship that is legitimate. Any relationship outside marriage or a relationship that is not locked with a wedding was not considered pure and the people who tried to transgress were condemned. People have been in love since ages and the religion became an enemy for those in love. A lover belonging to a different creed or religion did not have the permission to marry because that would be considered disobeying the God. A lot of things had been restricting the growth of a positive mentality of people centuries and decades before. Whatever the religious heads spoke were the words of wisdom and people were compelled to follow them. Gradually, with the rise of free voices and opinions things started changing. People rebelled against such staunch beliefs and demanded reforms in the society. Almost all of the religions in the world have gone through reformations because people required a simpler way of life. People wished for a life where the religion did not intrude their privacy and choices of living. Sexual intimacy was considered a sin before marriage and this one reason why live-in relationships were debated against. Living together would naturally lead to physical intimacy which was not acceptable by the society. Can you imagine divorces were not permitted if you wanted to end a marriage? It means that you will have to live with someone you can’t bear for the rest of your life.
But things have changed now. Couples need their privacy and it is not necessary that they should get married. Marriage is being questioned by a lot of young people. Why? If a couple can live happily together without getting married then why should you even get married in the first place? Why is there a need for a tag called ‘marriage’ when you can take the responsibilities for each other without marrying? Some people would say that the tag gives you a right over the other person. Marriage is commitment but I think a lot of people break their promises and commitment after marriage as well. For some people live-in relationships are more beneficial because they explore their partner’s personality before getting married. Sometimes dating isn’t enough to know about a person completely and therefore we need more time to understand them. When two people live together they understand each and everything about each other. From their likes and dislikes to their opinions and reactions in every situation. Nobody wants to marry someone who is abusive or violent. So, when you begin living with a person you get to see how they live their life and if it is compatible with yours. Live-in relationships are a great opportunity to know about the other and to finally decide if they are worthy of marriage or not.


Just the general population in a relationship can choose whether or not they are prepared to make that gigantic next stride, a radical new world presented to them every new experience. Obviously nothing is simple it is change that they will acclimate to if and when they truly need it on the grounds that at last nobody knows how solid their bond truly is and nobody yet them truly knows whether they are up to the test or not.

At the point when a marriage doesn't work out, the main alternative left is a separation. While separate causes you escape the lawful obligation of marriage and help discover another person, you will dependably have the "failed marriage" sword hanging over you head, which influences individuals to falter before quitting any and all funny business with you, notwithstanding, when things aren't working out in a live-in-relationship, both you and your accomplice can settle on the choice placidly to go your different ways.

Living respectively before marriage resembles taking an auto for a test drive to enable them to choose on the off chance that they need that specific auto. The time for testing will allow them to find whether they are good to each other. Couples begin knowing each other on a nearer level when they live respectively, which sets them up for a wedded way of life. I have never thought to be living respectively as a test, yet in actuality, it is. There are couples who move in together and understood that their relationship has not future. Some may even inquiry if their accomplice is even marriage material. On the off chance that your both beyond any doubt that you need to spend whatever is left of your coexistence, living respectively can be a decent begin of your coexistence. Your person may now have the ideal ring for a proposition yet and you might not have enough cash to design a wedding at this moment, however in any event you know for beyond any doubt that you need to begin a coexistence. Also, moving in together directly after the wedding can be very unpleasant and arranging a wedding is sufficient work in any case.

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