Countless couples are trying to figure out ways for dealing with pornography addiction. Some couples even report that watching porn has helped them in enhancing their sex lives while others completely avoid using it.
Nowadays, watching porn is not the only way to view sexually implicit images, they are almost everywhere. From celebrity sex tapes to their explicit internet pictures, we all are surrounded by different forms of pornography, day and night. And thanks to the internet, the viewings of these images are absolutely free!
This leaves us in no wonder that there are hundreds and thousands of websites which are dedicated to pornography videos and images. But does that mean that if your partner watches porn, then he/she has a problem? Does it mean that they have fallen out of love with you? Or are they being unfaithful in the relationship?
With years passing by, the loss of interest in your spouse is quite a common phenomenon. But what happens when one of the partners wants to view pornography independent of the relationship? Does this solo attempt at sexual indulgence mean something to the relationship? Should you see it as a threat to your marriage? Or should you simply accept that watching porn is nothing out of the ordinary?
Here are some signs that will help you understand if your partner or spouse is addicted to porn.
Your partner keeps excusing them self from social activities, never explains their absences, and is generally unable to account for their time schedules. He/she has the least interest in socializing with you or making time for friends or family.
If your partner is addicted to pornography, you’ll surely notice a drop in their physical affection and non-sexual touch. If you both indulge in a sexual intercourse, then it’s only because you initiated it. Your partner will face difficulties in getting sexually aroused.
Also, you will have to make extra efforts, to get them in the mood. Because of their addiction to pornography, they have developed a keen interest in sexual practices which seem to be a little out of left field. All this results in dissatisfaction for both of you.
Your involvement in sexual activities seems to be pressurized. They make you feel uncomfortable, physically or emotionally. You can just sense something wrong. Your partner is using non-conforming sexual language. He/she keeps objectifying you and has no misgivings about it.
You might feel that your spouse is not emotionally available to you during sex. You start feeling rejected or neglected in sexual terms. You and your partner are no longer able to describe yourself as emotionally intimate; be it inside or outside the bedroom.
Your partner is getting more and more interested in how you look or appear. He/she might make cutting remarks or comments on your shape or weight. They might even make you feel like a mere sex object.
You may also feel that your partner is no longer giving you straight answers to any questions. There is a possibility that they might be lying as well because all their answers seem to be vague and nonsensical. They get offended when you discuss their porn addiction.
If you discover any hidings, lies, or secretive behavior, you know that he is addicted to pornography. He might also be maintaining a private email id or has an unknown cell number to fulfill his sexual appetite.
Suddenly your partner has started spending too much time on the internet, often asking for privacy.
Your partner’s porn addiction is sure to bring about a change in their behavior. They just do not seem to be themselves anymore. They might even make you feel that they have some psychological or emotional disbalance.
Now that you are aware of your husband’s addiction to pornography, you cannot just let go of it. There are many couples who go through the same problem, wherein the partner finds it difficult to be aroused. But if you notice some unusual behavioral patterns or a collection of the aforementioned, your partner is due of a major explanation.
If there is a problem, there is sure going to be a solution too. Whether your partner confesses of their addiction or you catch them watching porn, you will have to deal with the situation in hand.
We understand that the experience is going to be horrible, disheartening and a difficult one, but you will have to get through it. Things get extreme if the relationship is long and intimate.
When you have finally decided to deal with the emotional wounds that your partner has caused, you can consider seeking outside help. With an additional support, a non-judgmental third party can help you relieve some pain.
Do not directly jump on complaining to him about his addiction, instead sit and talk to him about it. Ask him about his thoughts and feelings towards watching porn and share yours too. Discuss with him all your doubts, opinions and thoughts about his addiction. It is sure to make both of you feel much better and lighter. You can also ask him about his reasons for watching porn in case you feel that he is getting aroused for all the wrong reasons.
Before entering into his private space, just know that for men, watching porn is a very private affair, and they might not like you peeping into their guy space. Do not push them into sharing every detail until they are comfortable with doing it. It will be great if he agrees to be open about it as it’ll help you stimulate your intimacy, with or without porn.
There are possibilities that you do not feel okay with him watching porn; there is nothing wrong about it. All you can do is, try to keep him away from watching porn but to a limit to not end up being his ‘porn police.' Such behavior can lead to developing distrust in your relationship and make him watch more porn, that too in secrecy. If there are some specific genres of porn that you completely hate, you can always talk about it with your partner.
Or else, you can try watching porn yourself. You can watch it together and try to inculcate the methods in your sexual life. It can help you better your sex life and get back the lost intimacy.
No wonder you are intrigued to go through his browsing history, you need to resist the urges. Peeping into his computer and his history is only going to add on to the distrust and dishonesty in your relationship. Instead, have an open conversation on how your partner wishes to incorporate porn into your bedroom.
Pornography is similar to a substance addiction which can be as addictive as any drug. You need to bring it to his notice that his addiction is affecting your relationship. If he agrees with you and stops watching porn, it is going to bring with it some healthy effects on your relationship. But if he does not wish to empathize with your feelings, he is going to do nothing about it. Your relationship is in danger.
If your husband is suffering from a porn addiction and you want to help him overcome, opt to see a counselor together. The decision may be difficult in case your husband disagrees to discuss it with an outsider, make him understand your concerns. A discussion about his porn addiction may lead to a realization of larger problems such as infidelity. You should seek a third party help if you are not able to help yourself.
As per the mental health and addiction experts, pornography usually has a bad impact on their relationship and their personal lives as well. The frequency of watching pornography is characterized by elevated depression, anxiety, and loneliness. Frequent viewers are usually facing dissatisfaction and unhappiness in their life and relationship.
Do you think that a partner with pornography addiction can ruin your relationship? Let us know in the comment section below.
(Image Courtesy: 1. Diamond, 2. The Stir, 3. LIfe Hack, 4. Psychology Today, 5. CNN, 6. Authors Choice; English News (Featured Image)
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