The first thing that everyone thinks about after getting into a relationship is unfortunately SEX. In, fact, for some, the very reason of getting into a relationship is to get laid. We aren’t saying that physical intimacy isn’t important but is that all we need? Does emotional intimacy hold no significance in a relationship?
The millennial generation has forgotten the very beauty of just being with someone who understands you and accepts you for what you are. It has all come down to physical attraction, and the relationship sustains as long as the attraction.
Now that we are talking about how important sex has become, everyone has had their share of experiences wherein they might have been pressurized to have sex. The present generation has been very conveniently toying with the idea of love to gain sexual favors. However common the issue may be, it definitely calls for some serious attention.
Being pressurized to have sex in a relationship is nothing less than a physical assault and can even be considered as marital rape. You get into a relationship on your terms, and it is important that you remind your partner about it if they have been pressurizing you for sex.
When in a relationship, partners are supposed to talk about everything that concerns the well being of their union. Physical intimacy may hold great importance for your partner, but that does not imply that they will disrespect your boundaries or reluctance when it comes to having sex.
There might be times when you agree with their decisions because of the fear of losing them, but you cannot compromise on your self-respect because of the insecurities.
It is often seen that guys perceive a girl’s no as yes believing that their little pumpkin is too shy to accept it. Fortunately, we are not living in the 14th century anymore, and girls aren’t shy about talking things out. And when it comes to talking about sex, neither of the partners should hesitate in communicating their views.
You cannot let yourself be treated as an object that does what is expected out of them. You need to make your partner realize that your “no” means a “no,” there are no hints attached. This is quite common in married couples wherein one partner keeps adhering to the demands of the other half believing that it is their responsibility to keep their partners satisfied. This is nothing but marital rape. A relationship is about two individuals who agree to respect and care for each other’s opinion and limitations.
You need to understand that love is not the only food for love, respect, compassion, and gratitude come along. A relationship or a matrimonial alliance is an institution of love, and when you truly love someone, you treat them well and try to keep them as happy as you can. Pressurizing for sex is an ill-treatment and needs to be stopped immediately. You need to address the issue and ask them to treat you like an equal who has an opinion of their own. Your partner should treat you equally, and your stance should have as much importance as theirs.
Most of us have filled our minds with the wrong notions of sex being the most important thing in a relationship. A relationship is formed on the basis of mutual love between two people who are emotionally and mentally compatible with each other. Sex without any doubts is an intimate act and brings the partner close to each other, but it surely is not going to make you fall in love with someone. Determining the strength of your relationship based on your physical intimacy is utterly ridiculous, and hence you should stop adhering to your partner’s pressure for having sex. To have sex one needs to be in love, make your partner fall in love first, they’ll surely fall in your arms themselves.
There could be chances that your partner was involved in other relationships before you which gave them great sex, so what? Their involvement with you was their own decision, and it is hysterical if they demand sex just because they have had it earlier. Every relationship is different, and each individual has a right to make their own choices. If you have made a choice to not indulge in sex, your partner should not pressurize you for the same.
There are times when you let your partner’s wishes overshadow yours and let go of them to make him/her happy. But if you feel that things haven’t been working well with you, respect your own intuitions. Do not ignore them. There must be situations wherein you have already denied having sex, but your partner uses foreplay or starts kissing you without your approval just to get you in the “MOOD.” Tell them that you do not feel right about it and ask them to stop. Intuitions play an important role when in confusion. If you feel that there is something wrong at least try to retrospect your own judgment.
If your partner shows complete disinterest in making love to you, there’s sure going to be some reason behind it. Don’t you want to know? Studies suggest that women are sexually more active before marriage and later just end up becoming approval seeking machines rather than a sexually exploring partner. Either you are the man or the woman in the relationship; you need to break the monotony.
Sex is important and if you feel that your partner may be falling out of love, then here’s how you can work it out. If you are the one who is pushing your partner into having sex, hold your horses you! We understand that you are way more expressive when it comes to having sex, but it always needs two to tango. The moment you skip the beat, you are bound to fall. The sustenance of your relationship is in your hands and well your crotch too!
It is natural to judge that it'll be the guy who pressurizes his partner into having sex; it could do the other way round too. Your female partner may be making unrealistic demands or baiting you into having sex. Do not stop from voicing your opinion just because you are the guy and you cannot say no to have sex. It is every individual's right to stand for what's wrong and inappropriate.
If your partner shows complete disinterest in making love to you, there’s sure going to be some reason behind it. Don’t you want to know? Studies suggest that women are sexually more active before marriage and later just end up becoming approval seeking machines rather than a sexually exploring partner. Either you are the man or the woman in the relationship; you need to break the monotony of your relationship to get your wild partner back in action.
Remember the first time he touched you or the moment when she surprisingly bit you on the ear, the butterflies that flooded in your belly? That feeling of wanting more? Yes, that’s exactly what you need now. If you want to have sex, make them want it too. Do not force them or pressurize them for sexual favors, make them want it. Your partner usually loses interest in having sex when you are more interested in using sex to show your prowess and not your love.
Assure your partner that it’s them that turn you on and sex is not your way to reflect on any power play games.
Just because your partner is not as (sexually) active as you are, do not start blaming them for the same. Sex is all about the feelings, and there are chances that your partner is falling out of love. The more you’ll push your partner into having sex, the less will they be interested.
By constantly blaming them or pressurizing them for having sex, you’ll just be pushing them away with every single word that falls out of your mouth.
If sex gets you excited and the want of absorbing your partner in the same flood is all you want, then we are with you. Sex is important to keep your relationship exciting and alive, but dependency on the same is just going to kill it for you. If you keep showing that the want of having sex is biting you from the inside, your partner will only be lesser interested. Knowing that sex is all you want will make you less desirable hence lowering your partner’s sexual desires. Hold on to your integrity and your libido too!
A solution for the above problem will require combined efforts from both the partners. It calls for personal growth. When in a relationship, you need to hold yourself and understand what your other half wants from you. Maybe your relationship lacks emotional intimacy, and that is exactly what’s preventing your partner from coming closer. Try figuring out the reasons behind their disinterest.
Both the partners need to stop being slaves to the perceptions of others. Not wanting to have sex or being pressurized to have sex is an issue of self-worth and should be dealt by both by the partners together. Just release the pressure to measure up sexually, and you’ll surely rise up to the challenge of mastering yourself.
Have you ever been pressurized to have sex? Let us know in the comment section below.
(Image Courtesy: 1. Healthy Respect, 2. News API, 3. Evanmarckatz, 4. Lifescript, 5. Khoobsurati, 6. Reader's Digest ; Greatist (Featured Image)
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I am in love with one guy for last three months, initially everything gone well. One fine day,he was saying he needs financial help to settle some issues at work place. Told him i hv nothing to give then he started to give pressure to borrow somewhere else and sent over. When i said, dont hv, he was saying , am not putting much effort to secured it. Its some kind of stress and am started to get sick and pain all over my body. Why is he doing this. Honestly i cannot be hapoy whenever he pressures me. Suggestion pls.