How to help Someone with Sex Addiction?

2,199 Views Updated: 29 Aug 2018
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How to help Someone with Sex Addiction?

Your friend may be a good person who respects its job and relationships and knows that harmony lies in being with his loved ones and carrying out the work they have been given. As virtuous as you may think they are, there is always room for vices, and because they work hard, mild relaxation won’t do it for them. It’s tough to be good all around so they need a bout of bad behavior that should not do major harm but it isn’t always that the person yield's to a vice that is harmless, often getting more messed up than ever.  

Sex addiction is one such vice which can threaten all the beautiful relationships in anyone's life where they take the step to satisfy their impulses even after knowing that there will be negative consequences. Lack of control over sexual thoughts and not able to direct their sexual impulses only at their partner can make them the type of person who wants to and does have, at times, intercourse with whoever they can find in their field of vision.  

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Tips To Help Someone With Sex Addiction


 #1. Check Their Actions  

What is it that they do when they get one free hour at work or are persistent in their pursuit of sex with someone else even when they are in a committed relationship or are married? Obsession with sex cannot be hidden when they live with the mindset in which they are convinced that nothing else will please them more than sex and are helpless to control these urges whenever they are circling them for a tight grip. It could be that they masturbate in the loo at work every time they ogle at a person of the opposite sex or cannot carry a conversation with anyone without imagining what they would be like in bed and then making a pass at them when they are all by themselves. They may get all crazy when they are not getting the rumpy-pumpy they are always desperate for and have surrendered to their addiction so much that they are ready to have sex with someone who can give them a life-threatening disease. This is a truth for all of us that a habit is a habit till changing it becomes a struggle. So, you need to check their actions and get them to speak the thoughts that beseech them to bang. Once they speak to you and start checking their actions with your help, they will soon realize that they are not functioning normally and will seek help to change their compulsive behavior and help their sex addiction.  

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#2. Exercise  

One of the first steps in working towards a healthy relationship with sex is that you find an activity for them which they can undertake whenever their compulsive demon is making progress towards control so that they can cut him down to size. When you will insist them to workout or perform any physical activity, their body will release endorphins that will give them a high that can curb the urge to meet the sex high; it will also help them develop more resistance to pain even the pain of being addicted to sex and not getting it.  

#3. Push Them To Crave Other Things  

One of the things which you may have never thought about that is going on with your friend can be that they are not addicted to a particular thing and are addicted to craving in general and addiction of craving is when they have a voracious need to consume and consume and always bring themself to the point of exhaustion which comes from over consuming. A lot of us can be victims of the kind of thinking where after we learn that life is always subjected to up and down, we become increasingly restless. This restlessness can come from the kind of thinking which makes one feel that it is not okay for life to keep changing where one feels the only way to cope with this lack of intransigence is to become loyal to craziness. When your friend or loved one substitute sex for food or shopping and crave them with the same energy with which he/she craved sex, it can be the beginning of their weaning off from sex addiction that is harming them. You just need to help them and join them in fulfilling their craving which can be for food, shopping or travelling. 

 #4. Reduce Porn  

There is so much porn around these days that a newborn can watch it till they live up to the age of 100 years and still not finish every tape that was made. Sex is one of the most intense and magical experience one can have as it connects us to our primal roots and brings in us, the energy that transmissions happiness. The excitement with which we view porn makes us want to get in on the action ourselves and when we are not content with watching it and doing it once we seek more and more blindly competing with porn. Your friend must be the kind of sex addicts who became a sex addict because he/she was so fascinated with porn stars that another role model was out of the question. The person with sex addiction can firmly believe that no other kind of life suits them and imitate the way in which porn stars have sex replicating video after video. This is an extreme form of sexual addiction that stems from porn star being a role model. However, a tight porn policy and installing a porn blocker software on their phone secretly can help them a great deal. Image result

#5. Remove Things  

Delete the contacts of people who they have been intimate with in the past and the people who you think are sexual prospects of their future. Removal of their social account from Facebook or an app that they use for affairs has to go so that they don’t lose people who really love them and don’t have something to return to whenever they get some free time on their hands. Money and sex are the two things which are most thought about as people equally worry about and celebrate the possession of them. Clear their collection if they have any souvenirs or trophies from previous sex conquests as you need to be a nice friend and get rid of them all so that your friend doesn’t experience the temptation to add to that.  

#6. Make Note Of Things That Inhibit  Sexual Thoughts For Them

A lot of things can take away their sexual excitement but they will only slowly move out of their conscience when they are not in regular touch with them and instead read and repeat stuff that they cannot connect with sex. It’s easier to feed oneself sexual material than nonsexual material as people are omnipresent and one intense gaze from them in your eyes can arouse you to the point of desperation but with your help, your friend can easily counter this. Making him/her think about kids playing in the park to old people knitting stuff can easily take their sexual excitement down a notch. If you have the power to discipline their mind, you can even tell them to stop playing sexual material, or you could suggest them to have a cold water bath to stop their sex addiction.  

#7. Tell Them Food Doesn’t Always Go To The Libido  

People who have a chronic sex addiction and are not deterred even by the most unsexy things using their imagination and hunger to find something sexual in nature are the ones who eat only to release. You must have heard of people with the chronic eating disorder, people who eat a lot due to stress or stop eating all together as they think they are too fat. You friend may easily be someone who belongs to this category, one of the types are people who eat only the amount of food that they think will help them have sex and go on specific diets for the same. This kind of thinking has to depart if one is to remove his/her sex addiction and your friend cannot do this without your help and support. Sharing meals with them once a day and then doing an activity that distances them a mile from sex are other ways of burning calories that they will see are possible.

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Tell us how you helped your friend overcome his/her sex addiction.  Drop your comments in the comment section below. 

(Image Courtesy: 1. The Telegraph, 2. Good Men Project, 3. All4Women; Psych Guides(Featured Image Courtesy)
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Answer

My friend was always good with boys and she was pretty confident of having sex right from the
start which I deemed a little too dangerous as she had just turned 17 and thought that it will
only bring good experiences with no bad consequences which was completely different to my
conventional mindset where I thought that you really need to know the person first and see
whether he respects the fact that you will take it slow and create a relationship instead of just
sharing steamy sex sessions together. She was a hurricane when it came to sex and I was just a
small gust of wind compared to her but her demeanor and the way she interacted with me
never made me jealous of her or belittle my own appetite. She helped me have my first kiss and
we used to talk about her fast and stormy love life and my slow one in the library after our
classes finished. One day I saw her crying and it was the beginning of a pattern of behavior
which was detrimental to her future and the one I was determined to stop. It took me some
time to figure out that she was addicted to sex and a slave of it not a master of seduction as she
professed herself to be.  She had told me that she had a damaged relationship with her parents
and that is one of the driving factors for her recklessness and broken will as she was finding it
very hard to come to terms with the truth that her parents will always ask her to do as they say
and never do as she says. Since she was living here in a rented room she used to miss her
parents a lot and a sudden anger would rise in her that told her not to miss them as they have
let her down and she can never be good enough of her. She tried to use this anger to lose the
attachment she had for them but failed every time she tried to remove this from herself and
instead found solace in sex as the only thing which made her feel deeply the same love-hate
relationship and eased her emotional pain. It was all okay when she had control over when she
wanted to have sex mostly after college and not having it all during exam days but no she was
skipping classes and had already received a red flag from our teacher against her name for not
submitting the assignment on time. I took a bag of her favorite groceries to her home at an hour
when I knew she would be home and found that she had been crying for the past few minutes
and I told her that you are obsessed with sex and you need to get out of this obsession as it can
bring more harm than good. She understood that there could be a risk of diseases and even an
unwanted pregnancy from one of the boys and that she needs some physical activity and has a
love-hate relationship with it. So I took her to the gym with me and when gym became too
much for her I took her cycling slowly regaining the friend I had lost to sex. 

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