Do people debate about this topic that should they be selfish in a relationship or not? Some people believe that being selfish is good in a relationship as they should have their own life and their own space. On the contrary, some people believe that being selfish can eat up a relationship as you only think about yourself and not about your partner at all. Which side is better, nobody can tell. Everyone has their own perspective towards such topics.
As far as being selfless in a relationship is concerned, it is the one side of the coin. It genuinely binds the two people into one. There are plenty of circumstances which can describe whether your love is selfless or not. The difference between selfish and selfless relationship is quite a lot. It changes the relationship entirely. There are piles of reasons why you should be selfless in a relationship. Let us figure out some of the lots.
When we are selfless in a relationship, we are prone to accept. If we love someone selflessly, we usually accept them in their best and worst as well. The sense of judgment is gone when we have selflessness within us for someone. Accepting their shortcomings and flaws is never a task in a selfless relationship. Also, a relationship which is selfless accepts the ups and downs of the relationship efficiently and takes everything as a challenge. All the downs of the relationship are handled when there is selfless love around you.
When the love is selfish, you tend to give up too fast. Whereas in a selfless relationship there is always a sense of holding each other's back. Selfless love feels safe and there is nothing conditional. Selfless love never gives up on a relationship and tries to hold things together no matter what happens. Also, in order to fix a relationship, it is very important to be selfless with your partner. Real love supports each other and that is the reason it is selfless and unconditional.
To know the fact that selfish love comes from a place of fear and insecurity. Selfless love is fearless and has the sense of trust and honesty. There can never be a true love when there are fear and insecurity around the partners. Love and relationship become a void when you have fear and selfishness in you. Being selfless in a relationship makes you a better person not just personally but also in a relationship. Fear also makes the insecurity diminish after a while. It does not grow but fades away.
There is no doubt that we all have read those love stories of selfless love that never ends and never stops growing. A person who is selfless in a relationship tends to fall in love completely with his or her lover with all heart and soul. That love cannot be selfish or something that can end too soon. Even if the relationship ends, the selfless people still feel good about their previous relationship. Selfless love just exists, there is never a need to intentionally show it all the time.
Being selfless in a relationship is precious. You can enjoy a relationship more if you are selfless. If you are selfish you will just think about yourself and not about your partner most of the time. Being selfless in a relationship is a gift to yourself and your partner. It is a gift as there will be less amount of drama in the relationship. No jealousy will be entertained in the relationship which is built on a foundation of being selfless. When people have free and selfless love, they naturally give it that way.
There are more chances of growth of self and the partner in a relationship where you are selfless. A person who is selfless in a relationship gives enough space to the other person to grow as and how they want to. The relationship grows as well with the personality of both the people. The freedom that is provided in a selfless relationship, it makes the relationship even better with more open lives. The room to accept the love as it is and give equally in return is followed when you are selflessly involved in a relationship.
Whereas, being selfish in a relationship is not like, “I am having the whole cookie, and you won’t have any”. It is selfish as to keep yourself first and then anyone else. Practise to put yourself first is more of self-caring and self-love. Prioritizing yourself is a part of self-awareness which makes you know that what makes you happy. It is a way of respecting yourself. There is no point of being absolutely selfless since the beginning when you do not even know that whether the other person is selfless or not. You can enjoy more your romantic relationship when you are vibrant, fun, yourself, real and open. Attending yourself first will serve you longer than otherwise.
The easiest thing to happen these days is to get caught up in self-criticism and doubt. However, if you have a selfish string, you will accept yourself the way you are and that too very happily. Lack of confidence, self-belief, and self can actually be enough to cause anxiety, frustration, and sadness in your life. Therefore being selfish in a relationship will provide you nothing but negative things in life. To a happier and attractive relationship, it is very important to be selfish. Self-acceptance is important in a relationship and more importantly in your life.
Not taking enough care of yourself and keeping everyone above you always is not a sign of kindness most of the times, it is stupidity in most cases. Your partner can easily take advantage of the lack of self-care you show. You will easily be blended into manipulation if you are not selfish in your life. Taking care of yourself and putting yourself first is the best way to have a healthy relationship with everybody else also. The relationship becomes better and dynamic if people think about themselves first. If you let someone mistreat you, that is not selflessness, that is idiotic.
You need to tap into your own and inners needs or desires. By being a little selfish, you can come closer to yourself. In a relationship, it is very important to have your own voice and perspectives. If you won’t let your own perspectives stand with you in a relation, the relationship will tear you apart into pieces. Therefore, it is extremely significant to honor your own choices and desires. The stronger your opinion will be, the stronger you will grow in a relationship.
Whether it is engaging in a sexual relationship or it is having a relevant argument with your partner. Being selfish will make you stick to your part. It is very important to empower yourself in a relationship especially if you will lose your desires and wills in a relationship; there is no use of being in a relationship. It is better to be true to yourself than being selfless. Discovering what is best for you and exploring yourself more in a relationship is a part of growing in a relationship.
If you care for yourself full-fledged and you start caring for someone else as well, there you will realize that you are being truly connected to someone. When your real-self feels safe with the presence of other people that means you authentically have feelings for someone. Till the time you are selfless, you do not even know do you even love that person or since being selfless is your nature you are just nice to them. The real connection with someone feels extremely good when you that the other person accepts you the way you are.
We can not expect yourself to be a superhero overnight. Whereas, being able to love yourself the most is like being a superhero. If you are stupidly selfless, you will have to change one day as there is no survival of the people who can not take care of their own selves. As Darwin said “survival of the fittest,” you will have to transform yourself some time. Until you start practicing keeping yourself first then everyone else, you will never be able to live in such a world.
These were both the two aspects of this debate. Let us know your thoughts or side regarding this in the comment section below.
10 Opinions
