Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Rightfully said by author John Gray relying on characteristics traits of men and women. No doubt both are unique in their own ways and possess different qualities altogether. There was a period when women were considered a weaker group, but that gradually was proven wrong by them. Women have shown their efficiency and proved to be equal in stature with men. Still in various platforms, socially, women are barred from approaching or carrying out certain things.
Although they are not prohibited from doing those acts, but they might get a different impression if they perform certain acts, which on the other hand is quite acceptable in the case of men
Socially there still exist several norms into which women fall prey. We live in the 21st century but still, haven’t matured enough in several aspects of judging women. Men are never judged on their character, their behavior, their persona. Women, on the other hand, are always judged.
There are several things I shall mention which is deemed appropriate for men but at the same time considered as bad as a sin for women. Let us consider some of these traits -
No doubt this is the most controversial topic amongst men regarding women. A man, if he goes through several sexual experiences in his life is never judged or portrayed in a bad light. But same is not applicable for a woman. A woman is termed and labeled with various prefixes, mostly slangs, if ever in her life she has multiple sex partners. For a man, it is a thing of pride if he sleeps periodically with several women, but same is not preferable for women. They are portrayed in a bad light and are ridiculed for making such decisions. Their marriage or even future marriage gets into trouble if such cases come into light.
A man can sit wherever and however he wants, without even having a look at his surroundings. A woman, on the other hand, has to be cautious on her sitting posture. Even if a woman is wearing full jeans, she has to cross her leg and sit. And many people even label the character from the sitting position of a woman. Therefore sitting posture has to be maintained by women to avoid bad impressions.
This is one such act carried out by most of the men publicly in India. We always watch several men lined up and urinating on the open in the day time. Even though there is a heavy penalty for urinating at some places, men hardly care. But the same is never done or allowed to be done by women. If a woman is seen urinating in public, it is considered as a sign of vulgarity.
We all have come across several men who in broad daylight go on scratching their private areas without even noticing. No one points out to them nor does anyone give a damn. This, if done by a woman will create havoc. Women have to visit a washroom and adjust their inner clothing, which in the case of men is just the opposite. They make any place suitable to adjust their inner clothing and even scratch the areas proudly.
Publicly no one looks back to a man if he farts, but women are noticed from head to toe if they release air in public. Even though it's just a process of indigestion, people term it and label it in the case of women. Releasing air in public will make women feel like an alien, with all the necessary attention from the public.
No doubt, there are many more things which are proudly done by men and are totally barred in the case of women. It is the 21st century but seems like we are still stuck up somewhere in the ancient medieval period, differentiating and tackling gender issues.
Many are sexist, often without realising it. If my partner - who like me works from home self employed helping clients - and is male - meets new people and something comes up they say maybe you can fit in some work for me in a few weeks, when suits? They know not to ring him evenings and weekends, because they think to themselves he is a professional, he has worked all day, he needs to relax now. If he speaks about writing another book they assume it has already been sold and will appear in the shop.If I speak about another book they say oh that sounds good, maybe you will be lucky and get it published. They assume I am just writing for pleasure and nobody is interested in publishing it.
They ask my partner when he can fit them in for some work and how much he charges. They assume I am always waiting for a client with no work on at all, ready to spring into action on any day at any time, all for free or very cheap. If they want to get together for a chat they ask my partner if he has any spare time this week. With me they think they can just turn up on the doorstep and I am always available and ready to chat any time any day.
The same person will talk to me and assume that I spend all day dusting and hoovering, that if I work it is doing something menial, boring and badly paid, that if they ring me on a sunday or at midnight about work I am so grateful I will jump up and discuss it for an hour, no thought to how I have already worked hard all day and need to relax. A lot of people are amazed that I own businesses, as if all women work for other people and have to have a (male) boss who is in charge, making all the decisions and having all of the responsibility.
When people visit us at my house, the one I worked hard to pay for, they assume that my partner paid for it and owns it. They assume he makes all of the decisions. I have even met some women who assumed that I must be a tenant or lodger just renting a room here. When I point out it is my house they say BUT SOME MAN MUST HAVE GIVEN YOU THE MONEY, OR YOU MUST HAVE HAD RICH PARENTS WHO DIED, OR YOU MUST HAVE WON THE LOTTERY.
A few months ago I had a decorator here to re do the lounge. It is my house, I arranged it and paid for it. When it came to paying the decorator for the work he said NO I CANNOT TAKE THE MONEY OFF OF YOU. I ALWAYS DEAL WITH THE MAN OF THE HOUSE. WHEN YOUR PARTNER COMES IN I WILL COME OVER AND DEAL WITH HIM. Yet it is my house and my money.
When my partner is speaking about parents people ask him when he might be able to fit in going to visit them. When I am speaking about parents they assume I go there every day doing all of their housework for them.I pay people to do my housework.
I have met women at various social events, people I barely know, who assume that if they click their fingers I will be available all day to go in to the social club and hand out cups of tea to people all day or babysit for them. It never occurs to them that I have a business to run, a job to do, clients to help and my own things to deal with. Nor does it occur to them that if I were looking for other work I would choose things that match my qualifications and skills, not handing out cups of tea.
A lot of people assume women do not work or do not do any work that is full time, responsible and well paid. Usually judging by their own standards and actions.