What to do if your Boyfriend & his Ex are Still Friends?

4,035 Views Updated: 11 Jun 2018
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What to do if your Boyfriend & his Ex are Still Friends?

Relationships are complicated, romantic, stressful and blissful, but friendships aren’t. End of romance in a relationship can give way to a beautiful friendship. But that said, letting your boyfriend stay friends with their ex-girlfriend is not easy for every woman.

If you are dating someone who has his ex’s number in his contact list and is often found in his recent call logs, then you can take a few long breaths, because we understand your condition. You obviously cannot ask your boyfriend to simply stop talking to her because you are the sweetest, the most understanding and the most mature woman in this world (that’s what you want him to believe) and hence you need to cope up with the situation in hand. We cannot give you a defined solution but can surely suggest you some tricks.

Ways to deal with your boyfriend being friends with his ex-girlfriend.

#1. Did They Break Up Recently?

If your boyfriend and his ex are friends after the breakup, you need not worry if it’s been long since they were together. A romance takes time to change into friendship and just be sure your boyfriend and his ex have had that time to themselves. The romance and the resentment need to be healed and becoming friends is a good way to deal with it. You need not worry about them rekindling the romance if it’s been long since they split up.

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#2. Why Did They Break Up?

One of the most important factors to be considered if your boyfriend still talks to his ex is the reason because of which they broke up. Was it a mutual decision? Or did his ex dump him? Was he hurt after the breakup? In your case, the best scenario will be if they mutually decided to go their separate ways because that's often a sign that they were already headed towards making it platonic.

Problems can arise if your boyfriend or his ex still holds some unresolved feelings for one another.

#3. Are You Friends With Your Exes?

If you are friends with your ex, then you totally understand the reasons for your boyfriend being friends with his ex-girlfriend. There are times when you break up because you were not compatible but still liked each other. In such cases, an ex-flame can easily turn into a BFF. And we all know the power of the friend zone-it’s real and usually final.

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#4. Is Your Boyfriend Okay With Your Ex?

If your partner isn't sweating your ex being 'just a friend,' chances are it's because he knows that you can and you have a platonic relationship with him and so does he with his ex-girlfriend. You should worry if your boyfriend doubts your friendship with your ex because there’s possibility that he himself is disguising his feelings for his ex-girlfriend under the comforting blanket of 'friendship.'

#5. Do They Have Commitment Issues?

Are you sure if your partner’s all in? Or does he give you the feeling of apprehensions or that he is still not over his ex? If that is the case, then confront them about your relationship status and know if he is just friends with his ex or is there something more to it. Commitment issues can come out of the fact that your boyfriend talks to his ex-girlfriend and still have feelings for her. Get your head sorted.

#6. Is He Always Talking About The Ex?

It is okay if your boyfriend is friends with his ex unless she is the only one he talks to you about. If your pink skirt, or your bunny teeth, your Garfield bag reminds him of his ex, you are in so much trouble girl. Just know that bae is still hot about his ex-girlfriend.

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#7. Are They Making Comparisons?

Is your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend almost the third person in your relationship because of the regular comparisons that are being made? Do you feel like your relationship is more about your partner, you and the idealized version of their ex with whom you are always compared? Sounds like they are still caught up with their ex, you need to detangle quickly!

#8. Do You Three Hangout Together?

Forget about going out together, how is it when the three of you are just under the same roof? What is the vibe like? Do you feel relaxed? Tensed? Stressed? Left out? Or just like three friends chilling together? Do you feel welcomed or just like a third wheel? Answer all these questions, and you’ll know where you stand.

#9. Is He Affected By His Ex-Girlfriend’s Personal Life?

Being friends with your ex is fine until you hold on to your limits. Your boyfriend may keep telling you that he is just friends with his ex, but how did he react to rumors of his ex dating someone new? Was he happy about it, or was he upset, annoyed and even jealous of it? If the former one is his response, then thumbs up to you, you are safe. But if he chose the latter, we are sorry sweetheart, but your boyfriend is not 'just friends' with his ex. Friends are happy for friends when they find love, and if he isn’t happy, he is probably not a friend.

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#10. How Do You Feel About Their Ex?

For better or worse, you are and will be connected to your partner's friends. So it is important for you to introspect your feelings about him being friends with his ex-girlfriend. How do you feel about his ex being a part of your closed group of friends? Are you okay with it? Or are you just trying to be okay because of him? Does her presence make you uncomfortable? If any of it is true, then your partner should be aware of it. Talk to him. Ask him to set his priorities straight.

#11. Trust Him

Well, we know it’s easier said than done, but you have got to trust your man. What if your boyfriend is still friends with his ex? He loves you and you know it, right? Every relationship is based on trust and if your relationship lacks trust, then you know there’s something wrong already. It has nothing to do with him and his ex-girlfriend, the problem is with you. Try finding out solutions for your insecurities rather than blaming others for ruining your relationship.

All said and done, we would like to tell you that if you have positive answers (i.e. a YES) for point numbers 5,6,7 and 9, we are afraid that your ship shall sink soon. But if at all you happen to manage a positive response to point numbers 3.4 and 8. Then whooppiiee, your bae is yours forever and his ex will always be an EX.

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Does your boyfriend still talk to his ex? How do you feel about it? Does it make you feel like hitting him hard on his head so that he forgets about his ex or are you totally chill about it? We are excited to know, so please share your experiences and thoughts on the same in the comment box below. Don’t make us wait for long!

(Image Courtesy: 1. Dear Wendy, 2. Thought Catalog, 3. Pinterest, 4. Medical Daily, 5. The Daily Dot: Some Cards(Featured Image Courtesy)
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