Are you the mean mom? Do your children call you mean because you do not listen to them? You do exactly the opposite of what your children want leaving them angry enough to call you mean. Is being a mean mom terrible? You feel bad when your children call you mean, but you cannot help it. You do everything for your children’s good, and they are very young to understand that.
Children do not understand why a parent does something. They are just concerned about the things they want because their lives revolve around them and their peers. Children get affected from their peers and to maintain a status in their world; they want to try different things that may be harmful to them. At a young age, one does not know what is right and what is wrong. Children are not trained to think of the pros and cons of a situation because the parents mostly take the decisions.
For example, your children want to stay at a party late in the midnight, but you do not allow them. Why? You do not let them because you want your children to sleep in time so that they can rise soon for school the next day. What is wrong in that? You are not a rude mom; you are just a rational mother. Your children may tease you and may push you into buying stuff for that is not good for them, but you should still be the rational mother, the mean mom. But how will you be a mean mom in a constructive way? Let us learn!
#1. Set A Bedtime
The children should sleep in time so that they can wake up early in the morning for school. If a child sleeps late, they wake up late, feeling drowsy and dull. The child leaves in a hurry which means no proper breakfast, probably will forget some books at home, reaching the school late and ultimately having a bad day. The level of concentration drops down because of not getting full sleep leading to bad grades and inactivity because of lack of sleep. In the end, it becomes a vicious cycle of where the child sleeps late every day, waking up late and so on. The child will lose the health of the mind and the body. Do not allow the child to sleep or stay out of home after a time you find inappropriate for your child.
#2. Offering Sweetness, Instead Of Desserts
It is not necessary that mean mom talks rudely and always stays angry. Mom can still reject the child’s idea politely and sweetly. By indulging the child in some jokes and talking politely with them, you can handle the situation in a right way. This sweetness is understood, but the sweets, parents give to children, after every meal and at times when they feel like eating something, is very wrong. The children should not be given such amount of sugar at such a young age. The children need a balanced diet with more proteins and vitamins than some sugar in their stomachs. Sugar is unhealthy, and so every mean mom should avoid giving their children desserts and chocolates just to satiate their sugar craving. It is not normal to have sugar cravings all the time when they have the right amount of sugar in their diet. It could lead to diabetes which is difficult to handle at a young age. Therefore offer sweetness and not desserts.
#3. Teach Them Responsibility By Not Spoon Feeding Them
Children can be fed without the spoon means that a mean mom should not spoon feed her child. The child will get used to the parent’s help in everything, and when they grow up they will not be able to take responsibility. The child needs to be responsible for their actions and the things they want. Spoon-feeding can make the child dependent on others for everything from projects at school to making their bed at home. Ask the children to complete their work on their own, make their bed in the morning and clean their closet and room on their own. Your child will probably hate you for this but this is important for their personal growth.
#4. Bound Them In Time Limits
Punctuality is one value that every child should have. Punctuality is the key to success. This is the time when the child should learn the importance of time. If the child does not understand time, then the child may start to procrastinate which can affect the grades at school. Make time restrictions for the child like the amount of time they are allowed to play, the time for studies and the time they are allowed to stay out at night. Decide at what time they should be in their bed. The child will revolt but be strict about time. Today, they will call you mean, but when they grow up, they will realize how important it was to know the value of time.
#5. Expose Them To Hardships To Teach Value Of Money
The children should know the value of money so that they stop asking for things that are expensive and they understand how difficult it is to earn money. What you can do as a mean mom is that you ask them to buy the stuff on their own. Ask them to arrange money for the object they want to buy, and they can get from you if they help you in doing the household chores or running errands for you. Make sure that your children do not ask for money from the father or a friend. When the children earn money on their own by working hard for it, they will understand the value of money. It is important for children to learn the value of money along with the value of time. The children will demand less afterward and when they grow up, they will be able to handle their finances well.
#6. Keep Their Manners And Morals Under Check
The children should follow your rules, and it is important for them to know that if they live with you, they have to follow your rules. Teach them some basic manner like thanking people and saying sorry. It is important that your child learns to be grateful for the things they have in life and be apologetic of the mess they create. Some basic table manners and conversational etiquettes should be known to the children. Moral values keep the children in high spirit, and they obey you without arguing. You can punish your children if they misbehave or if they do not follow any of the above manners you taught them. You can ground them by decreasing their play time or by increasing the study time. The children will definitely follow all of them next time.
#7. Limit Their Activities To The Playground; Not Social Media
When the children enter their teenage phase, they are more attracted towards things that adults do. They are more inclined towards social media, and by experimenting for popularity on the media, they start changing their clothing and style sometimes harming their confidence. At this stage, a child who is unable to get popularity loses the self-esteem and becomes a victim of inferiority complex and bullying. The place where children belong is on the playground and not on social media so you should block social media from their personal computers and mobile phones at an early age. You cannot block the media for teenagers as they will get it from other ways but you can restrict the time they spend on it.
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A mother’s role is the most difficult role to play. When your children start thinking
that you are the enemy and they start naming you the mean mom then it
becomes very difficult. How do you make your children understand that what you
do is for their good? You cannot actually tell them and even if you tell them, the
children will not care. They would still want what they were asking for in the first
place. Children do not understand how the world works. For them, it is a
playground but you know how things work. You cannot allow your children to
demand unnecessary things even if you appear to be a mean person.
Stop your child every time you feel that the child needs to be stopped. Everything
is for the sake of the child. In future, when the child grows up all these restrictions
and limitations will prove right. The child will realize how those things helped
them become a better person. When they will see their peers doing not so well
then they will thank you for making them a capable person. Responsibilities and
financial independence will come from the punishments and rules that you make.
If your children follow what you taught them then they will become successful
people when they grow and when they are in school. They will become perfect
and their participation will increase in all spheres. Punctuality and responsibility
will create a leader out of your child. You just need to focus on how you will do
that. Do not force your child into anything rather encourage them to take such
activities as a challenge like helping you at home and earning money through
them. your children will gradually enjoy working with you and being able to earn
their pocket money.